Beginning Your Memoir Despite F
amily Guilt
and Critic Voices
When we first decide to write, we feel good
about it&nd
ashwe h
ave memories
and stories th
at form who we
are. We w
ant to explore ourselves, to c
apture times long gone
and preserve them in story form. To le
ave
a leg
acy
about our lives. But other voices compete with our writing&nd
ash“wh
at will people think; you should be
ash
amed; you will emb
arr
ass the f
amily. Don’t
air dirty l
aundry; you know only p
art of the truth, so be quiet. Your mother will roll over in her gr
ave if she found out you wrote th
at.”
We
all know these voices. They m
ake us throw down the pen, sit b
ack
and turn on the TV. We don’t w
ant to lose our f
amily. We don’t w
ant to m
ake them
angry. Writing
a memoir is
an
act of cour
age, even defi
ance
ag
ainst powerful f
amily dyn
amics. We need to find
a w
ay out.
As
a f
amily ther
apist, I h
ave worked with m
any f
amilies,
and bec
ause of my b
ackground, I’m in
a position to help my co
aching clients underst
and the source of their resist
ance to writing their stories,
and the source of the critic voice inside.